Melancholy

After reading how sad is about her bird dieing (heres to you ) has made me think about... well.... Elita. and her influence on me. This isnt easy for me to type about but I just got through cryin for 20 minutes and I need to get this off my chest!

Elita,whom I got my Devname from, was a little trouble-maker. She would lick the butter that was on the counter, eat steak that was also on the counter( grampa would always get mad at her) but that always made me laugh.Heh heh i remember when she had the kittens. There were 7 of them but the youngest, who i named Little O, was the helpless one. I tried for two days to keep her alive but it just.. wasnt.. enough! She died right in my hands. she fin in the palm of my hands and i felt slowly as her little heart beat stoped. She was gone and she was... only 2 days old. My sis and mom tried to cofort me and said she was in a better place but it still hurt... like it does now! we baried her in a cell phone box in the backyard. I tried not to get too attached to them but its so hard when you see them fighting over a shoe lace and you cant help but at them!!! Then my sister forced me to give them up because SHE couldnt stand them!!!I was numb for about 2 days. Shes been missing since christmas and i dont want to put up any LOST posters because i dont want to have to see them every day and know she's still not with me!This has been an emotional roller-coaster for me but.... I guess its better to feel something then nothing at all.now my head hurts from crying too much!

OH and i saw How to train your Dragon, it was fantastic. not in the mood to cheer about it right now so I'll be stopping now.

.....TheBlackCat!